好 大家注意听 Okay, guys, listen.
明天是艾蜜莉再婚的日子 Tomorrow, Emily gets married again.
我们要尽全力 转移罗斯的注意力 So try to really keep Ross' mind off of it.
- 对 - 好主意 - Okay. - Good idea.
你怎么了？ Hey, man. What's up?
正在想艾蜜莉明天结婚的事 Just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow.
罗斯 你看 Oh, Ross. Look, look.
看什么？在哪里？ What? Where?
就在那儿啊 快看… Right over there. There. Look, look, look.
- 你要我看什么？ - 谁来帮帮我啊 - What am I looking at? - Somebody help me out here.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
摩妮卡 对不起我没来 我在盖瑞这里 Monica, sorry I didn't come by. I was out with Gary.
他用警车载我去兜风 我们还阻止了一起犯罪 He let me ride around with him. We saw and prevented crimes.
- 你可以坐警车去兜风？ - 额 - You got to go on a ride-along? - Uh-huh.
- 我也要坐警车兜风 - 我也是 - I want to go on a ride-along. - Me too.
- 好啊 - 我也要 - Okay. - Yeah. Me too.
你真的要？ Really? You?
是啊 Yeah.
- 有点危险喔 - 我喜欢危险 - Well, it's kind of dangerous. - Well, I like danger.
- 好 你们今天晚上有空吗？ - 有 - Okay, you guys free tonight? - Yeah.
今晚？你刚才没说是在晚上 You didn't say it was gonna be at nighttime.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
真高兴你回家了 今晚总算能整理这些相片 I'm glad you're home. We can finally organize these photos.
谢天谢地 Oh, thank God.
终于要整理了 Finally.
我已经把照片分门别类 I've broken them down into categories.
有假日类 生日和偷拍 We got holidays, birthdays, candids...
我已经依照主题 做好了交叉搜寻 And I've cross-referenced them by subject.
好比你要找生日和狗 So if you're looking up, say...
就会找到152号相片 ...birthdays and dogs, you get photo 152.
你看 See?
喔 是我和拉普 Oh, it's me and LePoo.
我真怀念那条狗 Wow, I miss that dog.
你也能在狗和死亡项目之中 找到他 You can also find him under "dog" and "dead."
太好了 多谢 Great. Thanks.
把另一箱照片递给我 那是最后箱 Hand me that other box of photos. That's the last one.
糟糕 Oops.
对不起啦 Sorry.
幸好你有写上号码 Good thing you numbered them.
对吧 I hadn't.
还没152号相片是范例 Photo 152 was a prototype.
甜心 没关系的 Honey, it's okay. It's okay.
我帮你弄杯喝的？玛格丽特好吗？ How about I fix you a drink? Maybe a margarita?
果汁机在罗斯那里 Ross has the blender.
一切都毁了 Everything's just falling apart.
亲爱的 不碍事 我去找罗斯拿果汁机 It's okay. I'll go to Ross', get the blender.
- 你先准备玛格莉特的材料 - 好吧 - You get the margarita stuff ready. - All right.
他家钥匙放在抽屉里 我还需要一些现金 His keys are in the drawer. Also, I need some cash.
你要我去自动柜员机取吗？ Want me to stop at the ATM?
不用 到罗斯家里拿就好 No. While you're at Ross', if you see any lying around.
- 什么？ - 什么？ - What? - What?
我不做那种事的 I don't do that.
你逼问那家伙的方式 真是太酷了 That was so cool, man. The way you leaned on that guy.
天色越来越黑了 It is starting to get dark out there.
他什么都招了 他对你毫不保留 He told you everything. You cracked him.
对 他是受害者 他们通常都很多话 He was the victim. They're usually pretty talkative.
好 正式进入夜晚了 Okay, but it is officially nighttime.
- 盖瑞 要我帮你拿红灯吗？ - 这叫做"警灯" - Want me to grab the berry? - It's called a cherry.
是警灯 钱德 It's called... Chandler.
买到了 Okay, I got it.
这家店做的三明治 世界第一 This place makes the best sandwich in the world.
乔伊 里头有肉球吗？ Does it have meatballs?
没错 Oh, yeah.
有融化的起司 和大蒜蕃茄酱吗？ Melted cheese and marinara sauce?
有 Yep.
那就不能在我的车上吃 You can't eat that in my car.
好吧 Yeah, okay.
买这部警车的钱 我缴的税也有一份 Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
你缴的税？ Your tax dollars?
好啦 你的钱 Yeah, okay.
这个三明治还真香 Wow, that sandwich smells good.
我有说你可以闻吗？ Did I say you could smell it?
闻个三明治都不行？ I can't smell it?
香味就占去了好吃的一半 你把好吃都吸光了 Half the taste is in the smell. You're sucking up all the taste units.
好吧 还给你 Okay, I'll give them back.
这三明治到底棒在哪里？ What is so great about that sandwich?
- 想像你做爱最爽的一次 - 好 - Okay. Imagine the best sex you ever had. - Okay.
- 你想的是摩妮卡吗？ - 是啊 - Are you thinking about Monica? - Yeah.
是什么感觉？ What's that like?
拜托不要是真的恐龙 拜托… Please don't be from a real dinosaur. Please, please.
千万不要… Please, please, please.
墨西哥制造 好耶 "Made in Mexico." Yes!
谁会买这种东西？ Who would buy this?
瑞秋 是我 快接啊 Rach, it's me. Pick up.
什么事？ What's up?
我做玛格丽特还缺材料 I need more margarita things.
我要盐巴 玛格丽特调汁 还有龙舌兰酒 I need some salt, some margarita mix and tequila.
我们家里只有冰块喔？ So all we had was ice?
看看他有没有冰块 See if he has ice.
好吧 Okay.
喂 罗斯？ Hello, Ross?
我是艾蜜莉 It's Emily here.
我知道这很突然 但是我明天就要结婚了 I know this is out of the blue, but I'm getting married tomorrow.
或许啦… Well, maybe I am...
我一直在想你 I keep thinking about you.
不知道我们太快放弃 是不是一个错误 And I'm wondering if we made a mistake giving up so fast.
你有在想我吗？ Are you thinking about me?
一定没有 如果有的话 今晚打给我 No, of course you're not. But if you are, call me tonight.
好吧 再见 Okay, bye.
下一站是哪里？ Where we going?
这个目击证人不回我电话 我们去他家堵他 This witness won't return my calls. We'll surprise him coming home.
去堵他？他不会生气吧？ Surprise him? We're not gonna make anybody mad, are we?
得了吧你 Come on, man.
那你会在那贼人的律师出现前 先从他身上挤出一些汁来？ You gonna squeeze the perp's shoes a bit before he lawyers up?
那是目击证人 不是贼人 而且没有人会那样说话 He's a witness, not a perp. And no one talks like that.
是啊 没人会那样说话 Yeah. No one talks like that.
- 难不成你是警察？ - 我比你们两个都像警察 - Oh, what, like you're Mr. Cop? - I'm more cop than you two.
这是什么道理？ How do you figure that?
我坐在前座 好吗？ I'm in the front seat, okay?
我是盖瑞的搭档 I'm Gary's partner.
你说搭档的时候不像警察 When you say "partner," it doesn't sound cop.
倒像是同志 It sounds gay.
爱吃醋 Um, jealous.
- 麻烦别张扬 我们这是秘密出勤 - 好 没问题 - Hey, we're undercover here. - Oh, yeah. No problem.
- 罗斯 - 抱歉… - Ross. - Sorry.
好了 There.
盖瑞 我是谁？ Hey, Gary. Who am I?
打电话回家 Phone home.
看看这位罗斯警官 被打入后座了 Look at Officer Ross riding back here with the visitors.
是啊 这是怎么一回事呢？ What's up with that, Serpico?
你有在想我吗？一定没有 Are you thinking about me? No, of course you're not.
如果有的话 今晚打给我 But if you are, call me tonight.
好吧 再见 Okay, bye.
不会吧 No.
我知道 I know.
幸好先被你听到了 我们一定要把这留言洗掉 Thank God you were here. We have to erase that.
什么？我们不能那样 What? We can't do that.
非这样不可 万一罗斯听到了… We have to. What if Ross hears that...
回电给她 他们又复合了怎么办？ ...and calls her and they get back together?
你希望那样吗？看到罗斯跟那个控制欲超强… Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling...
神经兮兮的疯子艾蜜莉复合 那个不让罗斯见你的艾蜜莉？ ...neurotic, crazy Emily who wouldn't let him see you?
不行 万万不可… No. Oh, no, no.
天啊 不 罗斯绝对不能和她复合 God, no. He should not get back with her.
你知我知 就连罗斯都知道 I know that, you know that. Even Ross knows that.
但我们还是没有权力 擅自洗掉给罗斯的留言 But we have no right to erase his message.
我可是他的妹妹 我爱他 不想看他受到伤害 Look, I'm his sister and I love him. I don't want to see him get hurt.
得了 我这样还没有权控制… Doesn't that give me the right to control...
帮助他吗？ Help him?
我觉得需要帮忙的不是他 He's not the one who needs help.
艾蜜莉非常不稳定 She's obviously unstable.
她竟然想在结婚当天落跑 She's thinking about running out on her wedding day.
好啦 但你看看 她让罗斯陷入了什么处境 Okay, fine. But look at the position she's putting him in.
你要罗斯怎么办？ And what's he gonna do?
难不成在艾蜜莉结婚当天 跑去破坏婚礼？ Break up their marriage on their wedding day?
谁做得出那种事？ Who would do that?
好啦 不过这是两码子事 Okay, fine. All right. But that was different.
虽然有很多人都是重复的 Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
艾蜜莉显然想用变态的笑话 来恶整罗斯 This is some twisted joke she's playing on him.
够了 你疯了 她听起来真的很沮丧 You are crazy. She sounded genuinely upset.
你听听就知道 I mean, listen.
您的留官已经删除 Your messages have been erased.
不会吧… No.
好 我们很安全 对吧？不可能会有厄运降临 Okay, but we're safe, right? Nothing bad's gonna go down.
对 不过我倒想起来了 签一下这个 No. But that reminds me. Sign this.
这是什么？ What is it?
没什么 只是断腿或脑袋开花… It says you can't sue if you scrape your knee...
也不能告到市政府头上 ...or get your head blown off.
快点喔 我要签 Oh, hurry up. I want to sign that.
好 他来了 Here he comes.
他在干嘛？搞什么鬼？ What is he doing? What the hell is he doing?
什么？…怎么了？ What is it?
- 没事吧？ - 发生什么事？ - Is everything okay? - What?
他看到我们了 别动 不要看他 He sees us. Don't move. And don't look at him.
没事的 只是车子逆火 Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire.
看看 你想用身体掩护朋友 Hey, look at that. You tried to save your buddy.
你看到了吗？ You see that?
看到他冒命拯救朋友没？ You see what he did?
你没事吧？ You okay, man?
额 Uh-huh.
乔伊 谢了 Thanks, Joey.
那我呢？ Uh... Hello?
嗨 Hi.
我们应该走了 We should go.
不 等等… No, wait.
喔 对 Oh, yeah. Right.
不是啦 摩妮卡… No. Monica.
摩妮卡 我们得补救这个 Monica, we have to fix this.
我们无能为力啊 你已经把留言删掉了 What can we do? You erased the message.
我可以老实跟他说啊 Unless we tell him.
如果你想要这么明理的话 我也争不过你 If you want to be rational, I can't argue with you.
好吗？ All right?
好啦 你要说就说 我不想介入 Fine, tell him. I just don't want to be a part of it.
或许又是艾蜜莉打来的 她想说一样的话 Maybe that's Emily leaving the exact same message.
嘿 罗斯 是你啊 Hey, Ross, it's you.
我只是要你记得这种感觉 I just want you to remember this feeling.
活着是一种幸运 You are lucky to be alive.
所以每一天都要活得精彩 So live every day to the fullest.
珍爱自己 好吗？ Love yourself, okay?
也别忘了买邮票 再见 And also get stamps. Bye.
哇 只要把这留言放给艾蜜莉听 所有的问题就都解决了 Play that message for Emily, and this problem goes away.
可不是吗？ Right?
谁要来见见英雄？ Anybody want to meet a hero?
约翰葛林来了？ John Glenn is here?
不 是乔伊 No. Joey.
菲比 今晚真是太不可思议了 We had the most incredible night.
- 我们在警车里… - 慢着… - We're in the car... - Wait. Hold on.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
好 继续说 Okay, go ahead.
好… 我们在警车里 突然响声 有人开枪 So we're in the car, and bang. A shot was fired.
乔伊完全不顾自己的安危… And Joey, with no regard for his own safety...
扑到我身上保护我 ...throws himself on me.
天啊 乔伊 My God.
那是汽车逆火放屁的声音 It was a car backfire.
对 但是当时他并不知道 But he didn't know that.
对 我不知道 Yeah, I didn't know that.
那很有可能是子弹 It could just as easily have been a bullet.
乔伊 有没有想过要当警察？警界很需要你这种人 Ever think about joining the force? We could use a guy like you.
听到巨响就吓得跳起来 Who jumps at loud noises.
我今晚有可能丧命的 Wow. I could have died tonight.
对 如果那部放屁的车 把你碾过去的话 If the car that backfired had run over you.
我先回家去了 省得罗斯大谈人生新发现 I'm going before he starts rambling about his newfound respect for life.
我的人生的确有了新发现 I do have a newfound respect for life.
天啊 Oh, my God.
- 你要吃晚餐吗？ - 好啊 当然 - You want to get some dinner? - Yeah, sure.
你知道吗 若现在听到枪声 我一定会扑倒你身上 You know what? If I heard a shot right now, I'd throw my body on you.
是吗？那我们或许应该 去穷山恶极的社区散步 Maybe we should walk in a bad neighborhood.
好啊 Okay.
- 再见 - 再见 - Bye. - Bye.
罗斯 你别再闹了 Cut it out.
我不想在同一天里 先是救你又痛扁你一顿 I'd hate to save your life and kick your ass on the same day.
兄弟 Dude.
你刚才怎么先闪了？ Why'd you take off?
我只是去散步 Just going for a walk.
在客厅里绕来绕去 Around the living room, whatever.
- 有什么不对吗？ - 没有 我只是累了 - Is something wrong? - No. No, I'm just tired.
走路走累了 You know, from the walk.
好吧 Okay.
你扑上去救罗斯 You dove in front of Ross.
罗斯耶 Ross.
原来是这么一回事 That's what this is about.
天啊 你恨罗斯 Oh, my God. You hate Ross.
我没有恨罗斯 你当然有 I don't hate Ross.
我救了他 你生我的气 这样全都说得通了 Of course you do. I saved him. You're mad at me. It adds up.
你想铲除罗斯？ You want Ross out of the picture.
铲除什么？ What picture?
不知道 但是你说的话很吓人 I don't know. But I don't like what I'm hearing.
我很高兴你在汽车放屁事件中救了罗斯一命 但那若真的是子弹怎么办？ I'm glad you saved Ross. But it could've been a bullet.
你竟然救他不救我 And you didn't try to save me.
哦 Oh.
原来你是在气这个 你以为我觉得罗斯比你重要 You're upset because you think I chose Ross over you.
不是这样的… 我知道你能照顾自己 No, I knew you could take care of yourself.
罗斯需要别人帮忙 他不像你我见过大场面 You know? I mean, Ross needs help. He's not "street" like us.
话说到头 你宁愿先去救罗斯 也不来救我 You'd risk your life for Ross before you would for me.
这才是重点 That's the bottom line.
不完全是这样 No, not exactly.
对吧 All right, look.
其实我那不是要救罗斯 I wasn't trying to save Ross.
好吗？ Okay?
我的三明治在罗斯旁边 My sandwich was next to Ross.
对吗？ All right?
我是要救我的三明治 I was trying to save my sandwich.
怕它被枪打到？ From a bullet?
- 我知道这说来没啥道理… - 岂止没啥道理 - I know it doesn't make much sense. - "Much" sense?
钱德 那是本能反应 当下就扑过去了 Chandler, it was instinct. I just went for it.
所以你冒命去救三明治 You risked your life for a sandwich?
我知道这听起来很夸张 I know it sounds crazy...
但是 这可是世界上最棒的三明治 ...but this is the greatest sandwich in the world.
所以你并不觉得罗斯比我重要 So you didn't choose Ross before me?
才不 我绝对不会那样 No. I would never do that.
你就像是我的亲兄弟 You're like my brother.
- 真的？ - 对 - Really? - Yeah.
为了证明你对我的意义… In fact, to prove how much you mean to me...
给你 Here.
- 谢了 - 轻点 这不是热狗 - Thanks. - Easy, it's not a hot dog.
是不是很好吃？ How good is that?
是啊 Oh, yeah.
看吧 See?
慢着 你在干嘛？ What are you doing?
你不是要证明我对你的意义？ You're showing me how much I mean to you.
是啊 用一口来证明 With a bite.
你也帮帮忙 Jeez.
嗨 Hi.
瑞秋 你在这里干嘛？ What are you doing here?
嘿 你知道什么？ Hey, you know what?
你动不动就往我们的公寓跑 You are in our apartment all the time.
我这只是小巫见大巫而已 This is just a drop in the bucket, mister.
没关系啦 重点是你来了 It doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here.
你是我朋友 而你来到了这里 You're my friend and you're here.
好 我有一点点害怕 罗斯 你是怎么了？ Okay, just a little scared. What's going on?
今晚发生了最不寻常的事 The most amazing thing happened tonight.
我还以为自己要去见阎王了 I thought my number was up.
我真正面临到了濒死经验 I had an actual near-death experience.
怎么回事？ What happened?
我们不是跟盖瑞坐警车兜风 有人朝着我开枪 We were on the ride-along with Gary and somebody took a shot at me.
真的吗？ Really?
不是 是车子放屁 No. A car backfired.
但是 我当时以为是有人对我开枪 瑞秋… But I thought somebody was taking a shot at me. And, Rach...
我劫后余生 ...I survived.
我的人生拥有了全新视野 And I was filled with this great respect for life.
我要真切体验每一刻 I want to experience every moment.
我要把握每一个机会 I want to seize every opportunity.
现在的一切都变得好清晰 I am seeing everything so clearly now.
全都是因为汽车放屁？ Because a car backfired?
好吧 你来这里干嘛？ Okay. Why are you here?
我不知道这件事符不符合 你所谓的"把握每一个机会" I don't know how this fits into your whole seizing thing...
不过艾蜜莉今天打电话给你 ...but Emily called you today.
- 你跟她说了话？ - 她在你电话里留言 - You talked to her? - She left a message.
不过留言被删掉了 But it kind of got erased.
你的答录机有问题 I mean, there's something wrong with your machine.
那她说了什么？ What did she say?
说什么对结婚的事有点反悔 Something about having second thoughts about the wedding.
说你们分手是个错误 And did you guys make a mistake breaking up?
她要你回电 And she wants you to call her.
哇哦 Wow.
我跟你说这件事很对吧？ That was a good thing that I told you, right?
是啊 当然是这样 Yeah. Yes. Of course.
好 谢谢你… Okay, thank you. Thank you. Because...
我要去跟摩妮卡说我这样做是对的 I'm gonna tell Monica I was right.
因为你知道吗？她不希望… Because she didn't want...
那不重要 重点是我是对的 你自己决定 Not important. Point is, I was right. Your decision.
好 Okay?
我是对的 I was right.
你自己决定要不要回电 Your decision.
对 Right.
我猜我应该回电给艾蜜莉 I guess I should call Emily.
不对 你的决定不对… No, that's not the right decision.
不对的 That's not right.
罗斯 你清醒一点 Ross, come on.
我认为… I mean...
那个女人把你给整惨了 ...that woman made you miserable.
罗斯？ Okay, Ross?
你真的想要再来一次？ Do you really want to get back into that?
如果她是在昨天打来的… Okay, look. Yesterday...
我压根不会想回电 ...I wouldn't have even considered calling her back.
但在我面对濒死经验的同一天… But my ex-wife calls on the same day...
我的前妻正好打电话来？ ...I have a near-death experience?
这一定有所含意 That's gotta mean something.
罗斯 那不是濒死经验 就连经验都谈不上 That was not a near-death experience. That was barely an experience.
当时你并不在场 You weren't there.
或许这就是我应该把握的事 Maybe this is something that I'm supposed to seize, you know?
好吧 你知道吗？ Okay. You know what?
或许这无关把握或是不把握 Maybe this is not about seizing stuff.
或许这是关于逃避 Maybe this is about escaping stuff.
就拿今天来说 Okay? Look at today.
我认为 你逃过了… I mean, you escaped...
死亡 ...death.
或许你这是你逃避的机会… And maybe this is a chance for you to escape...
不去和艾蜜莉复合 ...getting back together with Emily.
这还蛮有道理的 That does make sense.
因为我要把握住这个机会 Because I do want to seize some opportunity...
但是我真的不想她见面或联络 ...but I really don't want to see or talk to her.
这不就结了 Well, there you go.
或许今天只是… Yeah, maybe today's just...
"千钧一发"日 ...close-call day.
嘿 瑞秋 谢了 Hey, thanks, Rach.
亲爱的 甭客气 Oh, honey. No problem.
等等… 留官灯号在闪 Wait, wait. The message is blinking.
或许留言没被删掉 Maybe you didn't erase it.
罗斯 是你啊 Hey, Ross, it's you...
这是旧的留言 没什么好听的 没错 That's an old message. Nobody needs to hear that.
摩妮卡有来过吗？ Hey, um, was Monica here?
有啊 Yeah.
要她把我的钱还来 I want my money back.
是要用来买邮票的吧？ You probably need that for stamps, right?
嘿 菲比？ Hey, Pheebs?
盖瑞有真的中枪过吗？ Has Gary ever been shot at for real?
有 一次 Yes, once.
小小的一次 A little.
算是他自己打的 He kind of did it to himself.
这故事没什么好讲的 It's not really a good story.
不知道我置身战火会怎样 不是汽车放屁… I wonder how I'd react under fire. And not backfire...
是枪林弹雨 ...but heavy fire.
好比我在战场上之类的 Like if I was in a war.
我去打仗一定很厉害 Man, I would be great in a war.
一定会是很棒的军事领袖 I think I'd make a fantastic military leader.
跟你们这些人比起来 我一定会最先当上将军 I mean, I know I'd make general before any of you guys.
在你被自己的部下枪杀前 还是之后？ Before or after you were shot by your own troops?
我知道乔伊会在哪里 I know Joey would be in the foxhole protecting all of us.
对 如果那个散兵坑 是用三明治围起来的话 If the foxhole was lined with sandwiches.
没错 英雄三明治 Yeah, hero sandwiches.
你们知道我主张和平 我对什么战争都没兴趣 You all know I'm a pacifist, so I'm not interested in war in any way.
不过等到革命的那一天来临 我一定要把你们消灭光光 But when the revolution comes, I'll have to destroy you all.
乔伊 你例外 Not you, Joey.