你在看原住民裸女吗？ Are you looking at naked tribeswomen?
不是 你看 No, look.
那是猪耶 That's a pig.
我知道 你看他的咪咪多大 I know. But look at the knobs on it!
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
艾蜜莉的表妹 竟然把我赶出来 Emily's cousin kicked me out.
- 什么？ - 为什么？ - What? - Why?
当你跟老婆的表妹分租公寓 要是之援又离婚 When you sublet from your wife's cousin...
表妹就会突然把房子要回去 ...then you divorce, sometimes the cousin wants his apartment back.
怎么可以这样？你们没签约吗？ Didn't you sign a lease?
谁跟亲戚租公寓还签约？ Who needs a lease when it's "family"?
你可以跟我们住 You can stay with us.
包在我们身上 Anything you need.
你心情好一点就说一声… But you have to let us know when you feel better...
好让我们取笑你的鸡窝头 ...so we can make fun of your hair.
- 没问题 - 好 - You got it. - Okay.
谢谢你们 我太感激了 我得回去打包行李了 Thanks, I really appreciate this. I'm going to get packing again.
我最近不断搬家 简直像是游民 I've been moving around so much that I feel like a nomad.
- 怎么了？ - 他以为你说的是"咪咪" - What? - He thought you said gonad.
哇 摩妮卡 要是每家餐厅都跟你的一样干净 我就没饭吃了 Wow, Monica. If every place were this clean, it'd be tough making a living.
别说了 赖瑞 Ha, oh, Larry!
卫生稽查员收佣金吗？ Um, do health inspectors work on commission?
不 不过收红包 No, bribes.
- 哈哈哈 我可以笑吧？ - 我开玩笑的啦 - Ha-ha-ha, it's okay to laugh? - I was just kidding.
- 我去检查厨房地板 - 请自便 - I'll check the kitchen floor. - Knock yourself out.
真可口 Yummy! Heh.
你说赖瑞？ Larry?
我也愿意让他检查我厨房地板 Yeah, I'd let him check out my kitchen floor.
98分 A 98.
你没戴帽子所以扣两分 I deducted two points for not wearing your hat.
因为违反第五条规定 That is a Section 5 violation.
听着 赖瑞 亲爱的 Oh. Now look, Larry, honey, ha, ha.
我写过第五条条文的书 Um, I wrote the book on Section 5.
在厨房才要戴帽子 You only need to wear it in the kitchen.
- 那你的帽子呢？ - 在厨房 我进去拿 - Where's your hat? - In the kitchen. I'll get it.
就这里和两分 Ah, there's the two points!
你真该读读你自己写的书 You should really read that book you wrote.
哇 Wow.
你看到帽子在厨房知道她进去拿时没戴帽子 You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew she'd go in hatless to get it, heh.
你可以主演 卫生稽查员兼侦探的电视剧了 You could have your own health inspector detective show.
你太客气了 Ah, I don't know about that.
而我可以演你的助手薇达 But then I could be your sidekick, Voonda, heh.
或许薇达可以留电话给我 我就能约她出去吃饭 Maybe, uh, I could ask Voonda to dinner sometime?
好 她一定会很高兴 She would love that...
因为你知道哪家餐厅才卫生 ...since you know all the clean places to eat, heh.
我再打给你 I'll call you.
好 Okay.
他真幽默 He's so funny! Whoa, oh.
- 谢了 - 谢谢 - Thank you. - Thanks.
摩妮卡 罗斯还好吧？还在为艾蜜莉伤心吗？ How's Ross doing since all the Emily stuff?
心情不太好 不过 他还撑得下去 He's not great. But, um, he's dealing with it.
- 噢 - 等等 你该不会… - Oh. - Wait, you're not...
我不可能再跟罗斯交往 Oh, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again.
他还要失魂落魄很久的时间 He'll be screwed up for a long time.
况且你也知道 我不喜欢追刚离婚的男人 Besides, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
对 快结婚的人你才要 Right, you only go for them five minutes before they get married.
- 我要两磅爪哇摩卡咖啡 - 是丹尼 - Two pounds of mocha java. - It's Danny.
你们还会出去吗？ Are you going to go out again?
不知道 上次出去一次之后他就没再打给我 I don't know. He hasn't called since we went out.
我们只在走廊上打情骂俏 我笑得下巴掉下来 I see him in the hallway. We flirt. I'm all...
结果却没下文 ...and then nothing.
- 嘿 - 嗨 丹尼 - Hey. - Hi, Danny.
你很渴吧？ Wow, thirsty, huh?
我周六要办派对 庆祝我搬新家 I'm having a party on Saturday. Sort of a housewarming thing.
- 真有意思 - 真好 - Oh, fun. - Oh, great!
- 我非常期待 - 是啊 - Really looking forward to it. - Yeah.
那我走了 See you!
看来他新家不欢迎我们 So I guess we won't be warming his house.
噢 哈 哈 好吧 Oh, ha, ha, okay.
很好 我知道他在玩什么把戏 All right, I see what he's doing.
他故意不约我 因为他要我主动约他 He's not asking me out because he wants me to ask him out.
可是你不鸟他 And you won't do that.
没错 That's right!
否则主导权就落在他手里 Because that would give him the control.
他现在故意说什么要办派对 So now he comes up with this "I've got a party" thing...
要我暗示他约我 ...to get me to hint for an invitation.
可是我当场给他好看 对吧？ Blew up in his face, didn't it? Ha.
所以他根本没有要办派对 So there is no party?
有 当然有 当然有 No, there's a party. There's a party.
不过 But the power?
谁是老大还不知道哩 That is still up for grabs.
你听得懂吗？ You follow me?
应该吧 I think so.
你是说他故意不约你 是因为他喜欢你 So he won't invite you to his party because he likes you?
就是这样 Exactly!
罗斯 Ross?
嘿 室友们 Hey, roomies!
你把家里布置得真温馨 I love what you've done with the place.
我知道箱子堆得到处都是 Oh, I know it's a lot of boxes.
- 我要再次感谢你们收容我 - 没问题 - I appreciate you letting me stay here. - Not a problem.
既然你要在这里住阵子 Since you'll be here a while...
是啊 喔 干脆录段你的留官 ...we, uh, could put your name on the answering machine.
哦 希望你们别介意 Oh, I, uh, hope you don't mind...
我已经录了一段 ...but I kind of already jazzed it up a little, ha, ha.
你们听 Check it out.
我们一定一定会回你电话 We will We will call you back
- 很酷吧？ - 喔 对 - Pretty cool, huh? - Oh, yes.
- 你也是假笑吧？ - 不过眼泪是真的 - You're fake laughing too, right? - The tears are real.
哦 是的 哈 哈 Oh, yeah. Ha, ha.
- 你今晚真漂亮 - 呵 - You look beautiful this evening. - Heh.
再给我看一次徽章 Show me the badge again.
真是闪闪发亮 Shiny, ha, ha.
我可以去洗个手吗？谁晓得这两个宝贝去过什么 Oh, you mind if I wash up? Who knows where these have been?
你真是马不停蹄 哈哈哈 You are just nonstop, ha-ha-ha!
- 我们必须立刻离开这里 - 为什么？ - We're out of here. - Why?
我刚经过厨房就看到十项违规 我要勒今他们停业 I saw ten violations. I'm shutting this place down!
- 你有权限可以这样做吗？ - 有这个就可以 - You have the power to do that? - This does.
那就让他们停业吧 Shut it down.
嘿 Hey.
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
没什么 Nothing.
你造了一座城堡 对吧？ You built a fort, didn't you?
差不多 Kind of, heh.
天啊 是他的空气清净器 罗斯的空气清净器 Oh, my God! The air purifier. Ross' air purifier.
我大学四年只听得到… All I heard for four years through college was...
老兄 你应该偶尔出去走走 You should have gone out once in a while.
- 我讨厌这东西 - 来吧 钱德 - I hate this thing! - Come on, Chandler.
罗斯是我们的好友 他现在需要我们帮忙 Ross is our friend. He needs us right now.
所以成熟点 进来城堡看电视吧 So why don't you be a grownup and come watch TV in the fort?
- 喔 嗨 丹尼 - 嘿 你这家伙 - Oh, hi, Danny. - Hey, guys.
我来请你们参加明晚的派对 Uh, I wanted to invite you to the party.
谢了 我们有时间就过去 Oh, thanks, I'll try to stop by.
不过我可能有事 Actually, I think, ahem, I'm going to be busy.
是吗？ You are?
对 Yeah.
记得我上次跟你说 要参加开慕酒会 Remember? I've got that, uh, gala.
什么开慕酒会？ What's the gala for?
是… Uh, it's a, um...
赛船开慕酒会 It's, uh, a regatta gala.
真的？你会驾驶帆船？ Do you sail?
不会 可是我赞助比赛 No, but I support it.
好吧 明晚见罗 好 I hope I see you tomorrow night. Take care.
保重 好 Okay.
我这招打得他满脸豆花 Walked right into that one, didn't he?
哪一招？ What one?
你希望他邀你参加派对 他也来啦 You wanted him to invite you and he did.
可是他等到最后一刻才来 如果我答应… He waited until the last minute. So if I said yes...
他就知道 我没事可做等着去那白痴派对 ...he'd know I had nothing better to do than wait for his invitation.
但是我说不去 But I said no...
所以还是我占上风 ...which puts me back in the driver's seat.
正点 所以换他出招喽？ So the ball is in his court?
出招？ Ball?
他没招可出了 No, there's no ball.
乔伊 麻烦你 Joey, please.
对不起 Sorry.
- 哈罗 小鬼们 - 嘿 - Hello, children. - Hey.
要不要玩手足球？求求你？ You want to play some foosball? Please?
- 好吧 - 不 不 不 - Okay. - No, no, no.
游戏桌搬进我房间了因为外面太多箱子 We moved the table into my room because of all the boxes, ha, ha.
进来吧 Come on!
好 我有个问题 I have one question.
这是什么碗糕？ What is the deal with this?
小布偶乔伊说再见？ Bye-bye, little puppet Joey hand?
不是 叫我闭嘴的手势 No, the quiet down thing.
你是说这样啊 Oh. You mean this.
嗯哼 Mm-hm.
我不知道我还能憋多久 I don't know how much more I can take.
你知道他竟然拿我的海滩游侠录影带 去录什么怪小虫吗？ Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with a show about bugs?
天啊 My God!
- 要是当面录的是A片呢？ - 噢 - What if that had been porn? - Oh!
好 这样也许不好过 All right, this may be tough...
但是 是罗斯耶 我和他一起度过大学生活的 ...but it's Ross. I survived college with him.
好吧 也许我可以再忍受一阵子 I guess I can hold out a little longer.
- 来玩吧 - 好 - Let's have a game. - Okay.
不要… Don't be scored on. No, no, no.
好耶 哈哈哈 Yes. Ha-ha-ha.
两位？ Uh, fellas?
- 好 他非走不可 - 唔 - So he's out of here. - Mm-hm.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
这里有没有东西可吃？我刚去强诺买鸡块那里竟然停业了 Got anything to eat? I went to Jono's and it was closed.
喔 我带赖瑞去 餐厅不合规定 所以我们勒令他们停业 Oh, I took Larry there, but it was all violated, so we shut it down.
这家伙不断关掉大家喜欢去的餐馆 以后我们上哪吃饭？ If this guy keeps closing our favorite places, where will we eat?
不晓得 干净的地方？ I don't know. Clean places?
好极了 Mm, yum!
是丹尼 It's Danny.
别让他进来 我现在 应该去船赛开慕酒会了 Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a gala.
我们马上过去 不能说酒会还没开始吗？ We'll be right there. Can't you say it's later?
哪种船赛开慕酒会在晚上开慕？ What kind of a regatta gala starts at night?
假的那种 The fake kind.
- 嗨 我想借个勺子 你有吗？ - 我们有 - Um, I need a ladle. You got a ladle? - We have a ladle.
谢了 待会儿见 好 See you at the party.
好的 Okay, great.
你们知道赖瑞会怎么回答吗？他会说"稍后见" You know what Larry would say? He'd say, "See you ladle."
我看完了 你要看吗 有体育？国际？ I'm done. You want anything? Uh, sports? International?
租屋版？ Apartment listings?
我要体育版 I'll take sports.
我要 Mine!
好 那就国际版好了 All right, uh, international.
我也要 That's mine too.
我是意大利裔 I'm Italian.
不然看看租屋广告吧 不过报上向来没吉屋 I could check apartment listings, though there's never anything here.
第7页也没有吗？ Not even on page seven?
噢 耶 Oh, yeah.
你说得对 有个地方价钱很公道 You're right. Oh, here's an affordable place.
两房 上班也近 可是还要五周才能搬进去 Two bedroom, close to work. Ooh, it's available in five weeks.
那圈起来那个呢？ What about that circled one?
不知道耶 就套房来说有点贵 Ooh, I don't know. It's kind of expensive for a studio.
可是现在就能搬进去 But it's available now.
对不对？ Isn't it?
的确是 Yes, it is.
我们去看看 Let's go look at it, heh!
- 好 我们走吧 - 走吧 耶 - Oh, okay. Let's go. - There we go! Yay!
对了 忘了告诉你们 可不可以大家分摊买滤芯？ Oh, oh, oh, guys, would you, uh, chip in for some new air filters for the purifier?
毕竟空气清净器大家都有用到 I mean, after all, we are all using it.
快点走 Let's go quicker!
好 Yeah.
- 天啊 - 喔 - Oh, my God! - Mm.
你们看这个厨房兼浴室 Oh, look at this kitchen/bathroom.
太棒了 可以一边煮饭 一边洗澡 That's great! So you can cook while in the tub.
房东真是太聪明了 Somebody was using his head.
再看看其他地方 Let's check out the rest of the place.
我想就这么大了 I think this is it.
不知道耶 我们应该看看别的公寓 I don't know. Maybe we should keep looking.
可是罗斯 这地方马上就能搬进来 But this place is available now.
对啊 你不会愿意 继续跟我们住五周 You don't want to be stuck with us for five weeks.
你觉得我应该租下？ So you think I should take this place?
这里很棒啊 Oh, it's perfect!
你呢？ How about you?
这里有厨房兼浴室耶 Kitchen, slash, bathroom.
好吧 我懂了 Ah, I see what you guys are saying.
我下楼填申请表 I'll, uh, go downstairs and fill out an application.
我们是坏人 We are bad people.
他知道我们想赶他走 He knew we were trying to get rid of him.
我们厨房能不能装浴缸？ Could we get a bathtub in our kitchen?
要去吃饭了吗？ Ready for dinner?
- 当然 - 好 - Ooh, absolutely. - Great.
你上次不是说要去布里克街 那家意大利赛厅？ You wanted to go to the Italian place on Bleecker St?
我爱死那里了 Oh, I love that place, ha, ha.
- 所以 不行 - 噢 - So no. - Oh.
那去李赛提老妈呢？ How about Mama Lozetti's?
呸 Yuck.
没问题 Sure.
不知道那瓶牛奶放多久了？ How long has that milk been sitting out?
不 这地方非常干净 No, this place is totally healthy.
那瓶牛奶是我的 我今天买的 This milk is mine. I bought this today...
我突然想喝牛奶 ...because I was thirsty for milk, you know?
我们走吧 Okay, let's go.
嘿 老兄 Hey, buddy.
你知道卫生规则第11条B款垃圾应该从后门拿出去 Health Code 11 B requires that refuse be taken out the back exit.
可是这样就得从干洗店烧路 But then I have to go all the way around.
你宁可方便也不顾卫生？ So you choose convenience over health?
够了 赖瑞 Stop, Larry.
你能不能当赖瑞就好 而不是卫生稽查员赖瑞？ Can't you just be Larry and not Larry the health inspector guy?
开始还很刺激 It was exciting at first.
但是现在简直是 哪家餐厅也去不了 But now, it's like, so where are we going to eat ever?
我想我可以口头警告就好了 I suppose I could give him a warning.
谢谢 Thank you.
快走啊 Go, go!
要是吃饱饭后你还想抓人 If, after dinner, you still need to bust someone...
我知道哪个热狗摊老板 喜欢挖鼻子 ...I know a hot dog vendor who picks his nose.
搞不好我们做的是好事 帮助罗斯早点恢复正常 Maybe we did good, helping Ross get back on his feet.
对 况且那地方实在不错 是啊 That was a nice place.
虽然柜子不多 不过可以用袋子装好挂在窗外 No closet space, but he could hang his stuff out the window in a bag.
现在该怎么办？ What do we do?
不知道 I don't know.
要吃披萨吗？ Maybe pizza?
- 我说的是罗斯 - 噢 - About Ross! - Oh.
喂？ Hello.
噢 我是 Oh, yeah.
我是公寓经理 罗斯填我们当介绍人 It's the apartment manager. Ross put us as references.
罗斯绝对是好人 这人非常可靠 Ross is the greatest guy. He's very reliable...
不过他养了一只大狗 那只狗半夜叫个不停 Of course, he has a big, huge dog that, uh, barks into the night.
谁不喜欢狗？ Well, who doesn't love dogs?
他是个踢踏舞者 Uh, he's a tap dancer.
有人说这的确是失传的艺术 Yes, some would say that is a lost art.
他是皮条客 He's a pimp!
没错 就是皮条客 There you go. He's a pimp.
他是会跳踢踏舞的皮条客 He's a big, tap-dancing pimp!
喂？ Hello?
噢 Oh.
听着这声音要带我去哪里 Watching for a sound To lead me to wherever...
该死 这可不行 他就站在那里 Shh, this is never going to work. He's right there.
去打声招呼就行啦 Just go say hi.
不行 我得从楼下走上来 假装我刚从外面回来 I have to go downstairs and back up, as if I'm coming home from the gala.
你去引开他的注意力 但是别勾引他 So just go distract him. But don't be sexy.
- 嘿 丹尼 - 你好 - Hey, Danny. - Hey.
怎么回事？ What's going on?
这个派对真不错 食物也很好 This is a great party. Great food, ha, ha.
大部分派对都只有薯片 辣酱 薯片 沙拉酱 Oh, you know, most parties, it's, uh, all chips and salsa, chips and salsa.
那么 So, um...
这是什么？ What's this?
沙拉 Salad.
喔 Oh.
这又是什么？ And what's this?
面包 Bread.
你不是厨师吗？ Aren't you a chef?
噢 Oh.
- 嘿 瑞秋 - 嘿 - Hey, Rachel. - Hey.
对了 你今晚要办派对 Oh, right, tonight was your party.
你穿得真漂亮 幸好你赶回来了 You look great! I'm glad you made it.
开慕会总不能没完没了 Oh, well, you know, the gala had to end sometime.
你别走开 我马上回来 Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back.
- 好吗？ - 没问题 - Yeah, sure. - All right?
好 你说现在换谁出招啦？ Whose court is the ball in now?
你不是说他没招可出？ I thought there wasn't a ball.
拜托 他很高兴我来了 而且还叫我别走开 Come on. He's glad I came. He doesn't want me to go anywhere.
我们两个现在是你来我往 Ball's flying all over the place.
瑞秋 这是我朋友汤姆 This is my friend, Tom.
这就是我跟你提过的小姐 This is the girl I told you about.
拜托 你跟人提过我？ Oh, come on! You telling people about me?
你们一定会来电 I think you two could really hit it off.
我去跟朋友哈拉了 I'm gonna go mingle.
你在布鲁明岱尔百货上班？我妈都说那里是"布鲁迷" So you work at Bloomingdale's, huh? My mom calls it "Bloomies."
真不错 Yeah, okay.
稍息 大兵 At ease, soldier, heh.
什么？ I'm sorry?
没关系 汤姆 你别装了 我知道你们搞什么鬼 You can just drop the act. I know what's going on.
你是丹尼的好友对不对？ You're Danny's wingman, right?
你们交情老 感情好 You guys are best buds, frat bros.
我要去…找朋友 I'm going to go talk to, uh, a friend.
请便 去找你朋友吧 Yeah, you go talk to your friend.
告诉他"这招漂亮" Go tell him, "Nice try."
他真是出招连连 He just keeps lobbing them up...
不过我可是招招都破 ...and I keep knocking them right out of the park.
我想喝杯饮料 我也要 I think I need a drink.
是 Yeah.
98… Ninety-eight...
99… ...ninety-nine...
...one hundred! 100
走吧 Okay. Go.
告诉你 我没问题 Dude, I'm telling you, I'm fine.
我扶住你了… Here we go, here we go.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
我没租到那间公寓 我的申请资格有问题 So I, uh, didn't get that apartment. Some problem with my application.
哪有可能？不会吧 You're kidding?
不过好消息是 菲比答应让我搬去跟她住一阵子 But Phoebe said I could stay at her place for a while, so...
你不能住菲比家 我们可是室友耶 Well, you can't stay with Phoebe. We're roomies.
我不能再占用你们公寓 You don't need me taking up all your space.
反正这里大得很 喇叭旁边还有空间 We got plenty of space. There's still some by that speaker.
住下来吧 Please, just stay.
对 Yeah.
你们确定？ Are you sure?
- 当然 - 你非留下来不可 - Definitely. - You have to stay.
- 好吧 - 就这么办 - All right. - All right, buddy.
所以我是皮条客？ So I'm a pimp, huh?
没关系 It's okay.
我知道我有时候很招人怨 不过你们可以直说 Sometimes I can be a pain in the ass.
明白告诉我哪里让你们不舒服 But just talk to me. Tell me if something bothers you.
我可以尽量改掉惹人嫌的习惯 只要你们… And I'll do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just...
显然你今天过得很充实 Well, I see you've had a very productive day.
不过戴牛仔帽也太扯了吧？ The cowboy hat's a little much.
快点 进来一起玩 Come on, it's fun!
好吧 All right.
这不是女人的帽子吗？ Isn't this a woman's hat?
小子 还不赶快闭嘴去泡茶？ Dude, stop talking crazy, and make us some tea!