- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey, ha, ha.
摩妮卡？ Monica?
现在几点了？ What time is it?
9点 Uh, 9.
可是外面还很黑 But it's dark out.
那是因为你老是睡到中午 傻瓜 Um, well, that's because you always sleep till noon, silly.
9点就是这么黑 This is what 9 looks like.
那我该梳洗一下 I guess I'll get washed up then.
准备看日出 Watch that sunrise.
我不想再偷偷摸摸了 I'm really getting tired of sneaking around all the time.
我知道 我也是 不然我们 去外面度周末 就没人打扰我们 I know, me too. Hey, what if we went away for the whole weekend? No interruptions.
还可以赤身裸体 And we could be naked the entire time.
整个周末？ All weekend?
- 那可是很长 - 嗯哼 - That's a whole lot of naked. - Mm-hm.
我可以说我去开会 你就说去参加厨师研讨 Yeah, I could say I have a conference and you can say you have a chef thing.
我一直想参加泽西的烹饪大会 Oh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair in Jersey!
不过你去的不是那里 Ha, ha, okay. You know you're not, though.
- 对 好 - 走吧 - Right. Okay. - Let's go.
等等 乔伊怎么办？ Wait. What about Joey?
你们知道我这周末要干嘛吗？ Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend.
去纽泽西参加烹饪大会 Going to this culinary fair in Jersey.
真巧 钱德刚才说 要去那里开会 How weird! Chandler just told us he's got a conference there. Huh.
真有意思 钱德应该可以 去康州或佛蒙特州开会 Oh, that's funny, ha, ha. Seems like Chandler's conference could've been in Connecticut or Vermont.
我又不能决定在哪儿开会 I'm not in charge of where the conference is held.
难道你希望大家认为我造假？因为我可没说谎 Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.
- 嘿 乔伊 - 嘿 - Hey.JOEY - Hey.
- 瑞秋在吗？我要找她 - 她出去逛街了 - Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her. - No, she's out shopping.
- 可恶 - 怎么了？ - Damn. - What's going on?
我叫艾蜜莉来 I told Emily to come.
所以我得赶快跟瑞秋说 And I just need to, you know, talk to Rachel about it.
等等 Wait a minute.
艾蜜莉来了之后 你真的就不见瑞秋了？ So when Emily comes, you're not gonna see Rachel anymore?
我现在只能专心想着 "我可以见我老婆" I'm focusing on the "I get to see my wife" part, all right...
不去想我快胃溃疡的事 ...and not on the part that makes me do this, huh?
所以你们再也不能共处一室？这怎么可能？ So you'll never be in the same room together? How is that even gonna work?
我也不知道 I have no idea. I mean...
但是我一定会想到办法 But I assure you, I will figure it out.
看起来实在不可能… It doesn't seem like it's gonna work.
- 嗨 大家好 - 嗨 - Hi, guys. - Hi.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
怎么了？ What's going on?
我们正要帮摩妮卡翻床垫 We're flipping Monica's mattress.
我认为应该先抬起来再翻过来 So I'm thinking, basically, we pick it up, and then we flip it.
这方法比我的主意好 That's better than my way.
你们顺便帮我翻好吗？ Oh, hey, guys, would you flip mine too?
受不了 Oh, man
我妈寄信来 Oh, look! A letter from my mom.
瑞秋 So, Rach?
你知道艾蜜莉要来 You know how Emily's coming, right?
我知道啊 Oh, yeah. I know.
听得到吗？ Can you hear anything?
当然 刚刚有人说 "听得到吗？" Oh, yeah, somebody just said, "Can you hear anything?"
乔伊的大屁股 Hey, Joey's ass.
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
记得上次他们吵架分手时 Remember when they got in that big fight and broke up...
我们待在房里没东西可吃吗？ ...and we were all stuck in here all night with no food?
罗斯在婚礼上说出瑞秋名字后 我猜旧戏可能会重演 Well, when Ross said "Rachel" at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again.
所以我在这里藏了这些东西 You know? So I hid this in here.
有糖果 猜谜… Ooh, candy bars, crossword puzzles...
还有疯狂字谜 我要 Ooh, Mad Libs. Mine!
保险套？ Condoms?
谁晓得会在这里待多久 Hey, you don't know how long we're gonna be in here.
搞不好我们还得负责 繁衍人类后代 We may have to re-populate the Earth.
戴保险套还想繁衍后代？ And condoms are the way to do that?
有个关键问题 Anyway, it all boils down to this.
- 上次我跟艾蜜莉通电话 - 天啊 我的狗死了 - The last time I talked to Emily... - Aah! Oh, my God! Our dog died!
- 什么？ - 天啊 拉普死了 - What? - Oh, my God. LaPooh, our dog!
拉普还活着？ LaPooh's still alive?
我妈说他被冰淇淋车撞到还被拖了… Oh! It says he was hit by an ice-cream truck and dragged for...
19条街道 ...19 blocks!
- 我的天啊 - 我们听到你在哭 - Oh! Oh, my God. - Sweetie, we heard you crying.
- 别哭了 - 是拉普 - Please don't cry. - It's LaPooh!
我知道你觉得满肚子大便 过几天就没事了 I know, it's LaPooh right now but it'll get better.
不可思议 我们到了 I can't believe it! We're here!
枕头上还放巧克力 我最爱这套 Ooh, chocolates on the pillows! Oh, I love that!
那你应该跟乔伊住 到处都有巧克力糖 You should live with Joey. Rolos everywhere.
- 我马上回来 - 好 - Oh. Okay, I'll be right back. - Okay.
万岁 Oh, yes!
摩妮卡快来 电视正在播警匪公路追逐战 Monica, get in here. It's a high-speed car chase on!
我们要换房间 We're switching rooms.
天啊 他们给了我们玻璃杯 Oh, dear God, they gave us glasses!
不是 杯子上有口红印 No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them.
如果连杯子都没换 谁晓得还有哪些东西没换 If they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change.
亲爱的 我只是希望 过个完美的周末 Oh, come on, sweetie. I just want this weekend to be perfect, okay?
- 换个房间嘛 - 好 - We can change rooms, can't we? - Okay.
好吧 要换快换 5号直升机刚跟丢了 Okay, but let's do it now, though, because Chopper 5 just lost its feed!
嘿… Hey, so, uh...
记得我上次有事告诉你吗？ You know how there was something I wanted to talk to you about?
对 Oh, yeah.
嗯… Well...
你知道我很希望跟艾蜜莉合好 ...you know I'm trying to work things out with Emily.
嗯哼 Mm-hm.
不过… Well, there's this...
有件事 ...one thing.
好 我要说了 Okay, here goes.
我答应她… 嘿 I made a promise that... Oh, hey.
- 什么？ - 你流鼻血 - What? - Your nose is bleeding.
- 天啊 - 你流血了 - Oh, God! - You're bleeding.
没关系 Ah. Ah, not again.
我祖父过世时也一样 This happened when my grandfather died.
实在是… 抱歉 It's... Ugh, sorry.
哦 额 Oh, gross, unh.
好了 对不起 你刚刚要说什么？ Okay. So I'm sorry. What did you wanna tell me?
- 嗯… - 额 - Um... - Ugh.
抱歉 Sorry. Sorry.
好 Okay.
我 额… I, uh...
我不能再见你了 I can't see you anymore.
我知道 我也看不见你 Yeah, I know, it's ridiculous. I can't see you, either.
你们可能会喜欢这间房 I think you'll find this room more to your liking.
太好了 Okay, great.
听说他只剩下一半的汽油 They say he's only got half a tank left.
一半？那还可以跑很久 Half a tank? We still got a lot of high-speed chasing to do!
- 我们必须换房间 - 什么？为什么？ - We're switching rooms again. - What? Why?
这间房是花园景观 我们订的是观海房 This is a garden-view room and we paid for an ocean-view room.
只剩一间观海房 可是你们不喜欢 Our last ocean-view room was unacceptable to you.
不好意思 我可以跟你谈一下吗？ Excuse me. Um, can I talk to you over here for just a second?
额 Uh-huh.
- 钱德 - 来了 - Chandler. - Yeah?
这些小人想占我们便宜 我才没那么蠢 Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride. I won't let them.
我们可不是呆头鹅 We're not a couple of suckers.
说得好 大姐头 I hear you, Mugsy.
这些房间都还好啊 But, look, all these rooms are fine.
请你赶快选定 让我看… Okay? Can you just pick one so I can watch the...
让我跟你一起好好度假 Have a perfect, magical weekend together with you?
- 我喜欢这间 - 没了 - Okay, this one I like. - Nothing.
没了 结束了 Nothing. It's over.
竟然没有延长时间 Damn it, this is regularly scheduled programming!
可以关掉电视吗？ Can we turn the TV off, okay?
难道整个周末都要看电视？ Do we really wanna spend the weekend like this?
抱歉 我是不是妨碍你换房间了？ I'm sorry, am I getting in the way of all the room-switching fun?
- 你火大可别怪到我身上 - 否则该怪谁？ - Ha, ha, don't blame me for ruining tonight. - Who should I blame?
那个拖着行李跑过10间房的倒霉服务生？ The nice bellman who had to drag our luggage to 10 rooms?
我不知道或许该怪那个… Or the idiot who thought he could drive...
以为用半箱汽油可以从纽约跑到加拿大的家伙 ...from Albany to Canada on a half a tank of gas?
不要说死者的坏话 Do not speak ill of the dead.
我们出来是为了过浪漫周末 We're supposed to be spending a romantic weekend together.
你到底哪里有毛病？ What's the matter with you?
我只是想看点电视 有何不对？ I just wanna watch a little television. What's the big deal?
放轻松嘛 老妈 Jeez, relax, Mom.
你说什么？ What did you say?
我说"放轻松 小摩" I said, "Jeez, relax, Mon."
嗨 Hey.
瑞秋 我一直有话要告诉你 我非说不可 Rachel, I've been wanting to tell you something and I just have to get it out.
什么事？ Okay. All right. What's up?
好 Okay.
你上次不是说我应该不惜任何代价挽救婚姻吗？ You know how you told me I should do whatever it takes to fix my marriage?
对 我叫你答应艾蜜莉所有要求 Yeah, I told you to give Emily whatever she wants.
你的建议不错 不过我必须告诉你她开的条件 And while that was good advice, you should know that what she wants...
什么？ Yeah?
就是叫我永远不能再见你 ...is for me not to see you anymore.
太扯了 你才做不到 你要怎么告诉她？ Well, that's crazy. You can't do that. What are you gonna tell her?
天啊 Oh, my God.
你已经答应了 对不对？ Oh, you've already agreed to this, haven't you?
我知道自己很恶劣 It's awful, I know. Uh, it's... Heh.
我心情也很糟糕 但这是挽救婚姻的唯一方法 I mean, I feel terrible, but I have to do this if I want my marriage to work.
我很希望跟她合好 必须挽救这段婚姻 And I do. I have to make this marriage work. I have to.
好在我们在她抵达之前 还可以继续见面 But the good thing is, we can still see each other until she gets here.
啊 Oh!
我真幸运 天啊 这真是好消息 罗斯 Oh, lucky me! Oh, my God! That is good news, Ross!
自从拉普过世之后 最大的好消息 I think that's the best news I've heard since LaPooh died!
你不知道我有多难过 我也很痛苦 You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. Uh, this is so hard.
是吗？真的吗 罗斯？ Oh, yeah, really? Is it, Ross?
- 我可以为你减轻压力 - 你在做什么？ - Well, let me make this a little easier for you. - What are you doing?
- 离家出走 - 瑞秋 这是你家 - Storming out. - Rachel, this is your apartment.
你看我有多火大 Yeah? Well, that's how mad I am!
臭巧克力糖 Damn Rolos!
- 你回来了 - 嘿 - Hey, you're back. - Hey.
这次出差如何？ How was your conference?
糟透了 我跟同事吵架 到回来前都没合好 It was terrible. I fought with my colleagues for the entire time.
怎么还有？ Are you kidding with this?
整个周末都泡汤？ Uh, so your weekend was a bust?
也不会 我看到唐纳川普在等电梯 Uh, no, I got to see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator.
- 嗨 - 你也回来了 - Hi. - Hey, you're back too.
对 钱德 可以出来一下吗？ Yeah. Um, Chandler, could I talk to you outside for a second?
- 烹饪大会好玩吗？ - 糟透了 - How was your chef thing? - Ugh. It was awful.
有些人根本不会欣赏美食 I guess some people don't appreciate really good food.
你的食物可能看起来很美味 Maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first...
吃下去却害人上吐下泻 ...but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea.
- 钱德 - 摩妮卡 - Chandler. - Monica.
旅馆费用多少？我要付我那一半 I wanna know how much the room was. I'll pay my half.
很好 三百元 Okay, fine. $300.
- 三百元？ - 就想成每间二十五元 - Three hundred dollars? - Yeah. Just think of it as $25 per room.
你们鬼叫什么？ What are you guys woofing about?
钱德从我皮包偷了二十元纸钞 Chandler stole a 20 from my purse!
不会吧 No!
你知道吗？现在回头想想 You know what? Now that I think about it...
我老是没二十元 而你… ...I constantly find myself without 20s, and you...
皮夹总是有很多 ...always have lots.
你们应该看看她当时的表情 You should've seen the look on her face.
我不希望瑞秋恨我 真不知道该怎么办 I don't want Rachel to hate me. I don't know what to do.
- 你要听我的建议吗？ - 请说 - You want my advice? - Yes. Please.
- 你听了肯定不高兴 - 没关系 - You're not gonna like it. - That's okay.
你决定结婚太匆促了 You got married too fast.
- 这算哪门子忠告？ - 看吧 - That's not advice. - I told you.
我去趟洗手间 I'm going to the bathroom.
要是有人叫我别见你们其中一个 我绝对办不到 Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I don't think I could do it.
我也不行 Me neither.
或许我可以 Maybe I could do it.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
我知道你们听说罗斯跟我的事情了 I know you guys heard about the whole thing with me and Ross.
我已经烦了一整天请你们别再提起了 But I've been obsessing about it all day and would love not to talk about it.
我不知道这算不算提起 Uh, I don't know if this falls under that category...
不过罗斯就在后面 ...but, uh, Ross is right back there.
- 那才不是罗斯 - 不是那个 - That's not Ross. - Oh, no, not that guy.
虽然他很像 He does look like him, though.
罗斯去洗手间了 Okay. Ross is in the bathroom.
天啊 开始了 现在就这样 我就像阿吉 Oh, my God. It's happening. It's already started. I'm Kip.
- 什么？ - 你才不是阿吉 - What? - Yeah, you're not Kip.
你知道阿吉是谁吗？ Do you even know who Kip is?
谁管他？你是瑞秋 Who cares? You're Rachel.
阿吉是谁？ Who's Kip?
我以前的室友 以前也跟大家很好 Kip, my old roommate. We all hung out together.
- 那个可怜人 - 额嗯 - Oh, that poor bastard. - Mm-hm.
看吧？你们跟我说过那件事 他以前跟摩妮卡约会 See? You told me the story. He and Monica dated.
分手后却无法共处一室 They broke up, they couldn't be in the same room.
你们都答应继续跟他当朋友 You all promised you'd stay his friend.
结果呢？他从此遭到排挤 And what happened? He got phased out.
- 我们才不会排挤你 - 好吧 当然我也是 - You're not gonna be phased out. - Well, of course I am.
罗斯定可以留下来 因为他是你哥哥 他又是你大学室友 It won't happen to Ross. He's your brother, your old college roommate.
迟早有人会离开这个小圈圈 It was a matter of time before someone had to leave the group.
我以前还以为走的是菲比 I always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
拜托 你住得远 又不是谁的亲戚 Honey, come on, you live far away, you're not related.
很快就会被淡忘 You lift right out.
嘿 Hey.
宾先生 Hey, Mr. Bing.
你住的饭店打电话来 That, uh, hotel you stayed at called.
说在你房间捡到睫毛夹 Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.
是我的 Yes, that was mine.
我以为你钓上哪个马子 她忘了带走 I figured you hooked up with some girl and she left it.
这种说法的确比较合理 Yes, that would have made more sense.
我都快要不认识你了 You know, I don't even feel like I know you anymore, man.
我只问你一次就好 All right, uh, look, I'm just gonna ask you this one time, all right?
无论你怎么说 我都相信你 And whatever you say, I'll believe you.
你是不是去参加… Were you or were you not on a gay cruise...
同性恋大会 ...on a gay cruise?
菲比 Phoebe.
我不该说大家会淡忘你 I'm sorry about the whole lifting-out thing.
你得跟着我 You gotta come with me.
- 去哪里？ - 跟着我就对了 - Come where? - Wherever I go.
我们可以重组一个团体 毕竟我跟你才是精华 Come on, you and me, we'll start a new group. We're the best ones.
好吧 不过记得拉乔伊入伙 Okay, but try to get Joey too.
菲比 我可以跟瑞秋私下谈谈吗？ Pheebs, do you mind if I speak to Rachel alone for a sec?
当然可以 Oh, sure, yeah.
再见 罗斯 Bye, Ross.
永远不见了 Forever.
- 嗯 - 嗨 - Ahem. - Hi.
嗨 Hi.
你来做什么？这不是违反规定吗？ What are you doing here? Isn't this against the rules?
我跟摩妮卡谈过 I talked to Monica.
是我做这个选择 Look, I'm the one who made the choice.
我害大家必须要改变 I'm the one who's making things change.
所以离开的应该是我 So I should be the one to, you know, step back.
- 罗斯… - 真的没关系 - Oh, Ross... - No, no, it's okay. Really.
很多人只有在感恩节见到妹妹 Plenty of people just see their sisters at Thanksgiving...
同学会才见到大学室友 ...and just see their college roommates at reunions...
在"汉堡王"才见到乔伊 ...and just see Joey at Burger King.
这样你舒服一点了吗？ So is that better?
一点也没有 No, it's not better.
我还是见不到你 I still don't get to see you.
瑞秋 换做你会怎么办？ Well, what would you do, Rach? If you were me, what would you do?
嗯… Well...
首先 我在婚礼上 就不会说错名字 ...for starters, I would have said the right name at my wedding.
竟然得走到这一步 I can't believe this is happening.
我知道 I know.
我很抱歉 I am so sorry.
我也知道 I know that too.
嗯 嘿 瑞秋 Ahem. Hey, Rach?
抱歉打扰 菲比说我们要去哪里 Sorry to interrupt, but, uh, Phoebe said you wanted to talk to me about a trip.
- 嘿 - 嗨 - Hey. - Hi.
我过来主要是… I just came over to drop off...
没事 ...nothing.
上周末过得很糟吧？ So that weekend kind of sucked, huh?
没错 Yeah, it did.
那大概没得玩了 So I guess this is over?
- 什么？ - 我说你跟我啦 - What? - Well, you know, you and me.
反正迟早得结束 I mean, it had to end sometime.
为什么？ Why exactly?
因为我们上周末吵架啊 Because of the weekend. We had a fight.
钱德 你太扯了 Chandler, that's crazy.
如果你每次吵架就分手 交往大概不会超过… Ha, ha. If you give up every time you have a fight with someone...
你从来不与任何人长期… ...you'd never be with anyone longer than...
噢 Oh.
所以 我们还可以继续？ So this isn't over?
你真可爱 You are so cute!
当然 我们只是吵架 No, no. It was a fight.
吵过之后就算了 根本没什么好害怕 You deal with it and you move on. It's nothing to freak out about.
- 真的吗？太好了 - 呵 - Really? Okay, great. - Heh.
欢迎加入成熟恋人行列 Aw. Welcome to an adult relationship.
我们算是男女朋友？ We're in a relationship?
- 恐怕是 - 好吧 - I'm afraid so. - Okay.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
摩妮卡 听说你上周看到唐纳川普 Oh, hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.
对 我看到他在等电梯 Yeah, saw him waiting for an elevator.
瑞秋 借我下睫毛夹 我的不见了 Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler? I lost mine.
好啊 在厕所 Yeah, it's in the bathroom.
啊 啊 Oh! Oh!
- 乔伊 过来一下 - 啊 啊 - Joey, can I talk to you for a second? - Ooh, oh!
- 乔伊 我有话跟你说 - 噢 噢 - Joey, I need to talk to you. - Oh! Oh!
噢 噢 噢 Oh, oh, oh!
没错 Yes.
你？跟你？ You? And you?
对 但是你不能告诉别人 还没有人知道 Yes, but you cannot tell anyone. No one knows.
怎么会？何时的事？ But how? When?
- 要从伦敦说起 - 伦敦？ - It happened in London. - In London!
我们之所以没告诉大家 是不想你们大惊小怪 The reason we didn't tell anyone was we didn't wanna make a big deal out of it.
这的确是大事 我非告诉谁不可 But it is a big deal! I have to tell someone!
不 不 不 你不能说 No, no, no. You can't.
拜托你 我们就是 不想面对大家质问 Please, please. We just don't wanna deal with telling everyone.
求求你保证不说 Please, just promise you won't tell.
好吧 All right.
不可思议 Man, this is unbelievable!
这是件好事 可是… I mean, it's great! But...
我知道 的确很棒 I know. It's great! Ha, ha.
我可不想看到这慕 Oh, I don't wanna see that!
我们真是太蠢了 We're so stupid.
你知道他们在做什么吗？他们想抢走乔伊 Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey.
网球界最有名的菲比 就叫做杀球菲比 "The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. Heh.
赢了就得跟对方击掌 说"嗨 菲比" If you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, 'Hi, Phoebe!"'
真有意思 很好玩 Oh, that's cute. We really all enjoyed it.
- 但是这不算 - 不算什么？ - But you know it doesn't count. - For what?
这可不算疯狂字谜 Just count in our heads as good Mad Libs.
- 我不想玩了 - 不好玩了 - I guess fun time's over. - Yeah, I'm done.
等等 要遵守规则才有意思 Wait, guys, if we follow the rules...
也才有意义啊 ...it's still fun and it means something.
我要闪人了 I'm gonna take off.
有规则才好 Guys, rules are good!
不守规则怎么会好玩 Rules help control the fun.
啊 Oh!